my carnival day

After you left with lies that locked you up,
And suitcase filled with fake happiness,
I sunk deep into my circus land,
Where everything good and bad was wound ,
Around my soul like tangled yarn.

I am acrobat soaring high ,
Over painted faces with pink spun sugar,
I see your face every time I let go ,
I am tight ropewalker
Feeling the wind rush
Past my strained muscles ,
Music is pulsing,
Fingers reaching forward,
I am slipping again,
Falling
Down
Past the your face ,
That always gazes back,
With glazed black eyes,

Never day or velvet night in circus land,
Just pale light over my juggling balls,.
Just carousel over my fire breathing heart,
Just no way out of this world ,
Filled with dogs playing poker
and sparkling tents of gold
I am trapped in circus land
With reality my only key.